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I know, that's something that happened like nearly 2 months ago, on the 18th of September but i still feel sad over it :-(
I'll always remember the long road trip towards the airport, where i cried silently in the car, in the dark; simultaneously talking to her so that she wouldn't guess that i was crying. She never did.
Best friends are supposed to be together, forever, right? Then why the heck was she going away???? Don't give me this whole "distance means nothing" thing- it does. Distance means everything!
Distance is when i am totally lonely and depressed and realize i can't even pop over to see her.
Distance is when i automatically start texting her about something and realize that she's not around anymore.
Distance is when i plan on calling her to go shopping and then once again, realizes that shez in Canada, oceans away from here.
I know, i know, judging by the number of "i"'s in my whole distance tirade shows that am thinking only of me- does that make me a bad person??? Because apart from my breakdown at the airport when we were saying goodbye, i never ever let her feel how lonely i am ever since she went away.
It's terribly hard. Harder than I expected. My birthday will b lonely this year, so will christmas and new year. I'll keep on thinking of last year when we were together, when we laid under the tree and watched the twinkling lights above. I knew, at that time that this would be out last christmas together for a long time.
I usually go to her place to visit her mom n often i go on the computer in her room to check whether she's online. But going to her room is among the hardest thing ever. Everything is still the same, every single scrap of paper is still at its own place...look, here's the hairbrush she used seconds before leaving...in fact, everything's so freakingly the same that everytime i just expect her to come rushing into her room.
I miss those days. Those days of lying around on her bed and getting bored. I want to get bored with her again. I want us to feel carefree and take the future for granted once more. I want her back so badly.
The worse is that i can't tell her anythng: she's got college to deal with at the moment.
She was loaned to me for 5 precious years...and taught me friendship...then she flew away. Maybe she will meet another best friend there. Maybe not. But whatever happens, i know she's been sent to touch my life in a way that no one else ever did. Or could.
I'll always love you, you crazy bitch. And i miss you. More than you'll ever know.
In Sparkles & Friendship...
Diamond~
